2008 - Demented Relentless Unrepentant

January, 2008

THE DWARVES music becomes inescapable in film and television swelling HEWHOCANNOTBENAMED’s bank account and ego beyond all proportion while the band appears in hardcore porn films like ‘Rocksuckers’ and soft core television like ‘Playboy’s Nightcalls’ where REX EVERYTHING’s oversized penis becomes caught in the tailpipe of HUGH HEFNER’s Maserati.  BLAG and producer THRUSTY OTIS discover female pop singer ANGELINA in an Azerbaijani bus station and the result is the classic album CANDY NOW!. Audiences are stirred by the sultry siren and retro lounge tunes and this prompts an extensive tour of Oakland, California. BLAG begins to perform solo shows around the world insisting that he is the only artist who can play an acoustic guitar and not be gay at the same time. Critics vacillate between outright disagreement and complete avoidance as Dahlia congratulates himself for learning an additional chord and remembering songs that he’s already written several times before. Guitarist THE FRESH PRINCE OF DARKNESS forms MOTOCHRIST to capitalize on the DWARVES now legendary status, while drummer GREGORY PECKER forms the percussion heavy GNARLY WATTS and magically sprouts hair.

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